Παρασκευή, 8 Ιανουαρίου 2016

Advising the advisors-A Time-management miracle

(the title i thought of after finishing this piece.I think it contains the essence of what i m trying to say.
How can you present oneself as a know-all even if it is just about one thing.
Studying science takes time.So does not studying.You cant do both.And you are only 25-35 or whatever.When did you manage to understand the world,and have opinion on it?
No one manages to prove from scratch all mathematics,most is taken as a given
Because if you wanted to get to the truth of something ,you d want to see it for yourself.
Otherwise how can you be certain it is true?
Furthermore ,you were taught the things humanity(call me stranger) agreed on teaching you as truths.
That's not to say that's all the truth there is out there.
It is as if truth has an end,is a destination and ,as if one can reach this destination through a path.
This is not science.This is not discovering ,searching,explaining.
This is formalised boxing ,as it suits those who have interests in maintaining something as it is,or changing it to something that would produce more profits for them.This is not what a scientist does.This is what a driver has to do in order to avoid collisions with other cars,or getting off the road,in fear of getting some dust on the tires of your car.This is what it is.)


One simple (?) question that has been bothering me for a while is the following:
How the hell all these people who present themselves as specialists,did they get there in the first place?

A short Diary:
I am 55 years old.
I was born to a middle class family(father was a captain in the merchant marine-mother a homemaker),a single kid,and the sole person in the world who can continue the existence of the family name:):)(not that this has anything to do with anything but my inheritance rights):):)
I went to school(yes i know ,you wonder,but i promise i did),for 14 years (as i had to repeat a couple of classes(no i wasnt a good student,i had better things to do with my time than waste it on subjects that at the time i thought as useless).
While growing up,i remember almost everyone i knew ,asked repeatedly what am i going to be when i grow up.And for me this was a stupid question as i knew back then that whatever your plan is,life has a way of bringing things around.
So i was not paying much attention to whatever i was taught,i was just studying enough to pass.(and sometimes with the assistance of cheating methods that occupied more time than what i ve spent if i was to study for real.but this is another story).
And since i was of a family with presence in society,i had secured my future (in a way),as the prospects were explained to me early on in my liufe by my family.I was to become a shipping person(whatever this means).
As my father had friends in the shipping industry(namely the shipowner that he was working for,at the last 15 years of his captainhood),i had the "opportunity" to go to the company office every day,to get in the mood ,to understand the way things work and prepare for the rest of my life as a slave.(I couldnt care less ,at the time it seemed to me obligatory if i wanted to secure my pocket money :):))(no i was not paid,i m talking about my allowance from my father).
So this went on for a couple of years before i was sent to England to study shipping(!!) in a college,Morley college in London.
The first months there,were for me a nightmare.I was taught english back home for years (British council ,and private lessons with an aunt who was born to English father in China).I also had practiced speaking English in Greece with tourists on the islands in the summer (after 15 i was every summer taking 2 or 3 months off to an island,with sleeping bag and tent).I also had been taught some "telex" language basics.
All these where not enough it seems ,when i landed in Heathrow ,and started my new life in UK for the first time alone.
I got a taxi ,showed to the driver the paper with the address i wanted to go,he gave me a funny look (at the time didnt understand why anyone would give me funny looks for taking a cab in UK to go a distance of more than 100 miles.It costs too much:):)).
Anyway ,we get going,and after a while ,the driver turns to me and says:"Hey mate ,have you got a fag?"...
Oh my god!
He is gay and he is trying to get me to fuck him or does he want to fuck me???:):)
Yes this was my level of understanding of english,the language i was learning for more than 10 years.:):)
Anyway,we solved that ,since he realised i dont have a clue what he is saying,he tried with normal english.:):)and it worked!!:):)
So life went on for a year there,i was going to college most days (in the end not so oftenb i must admit),i got involved staight away with some local junkies and since i was still in the honeymoon period of heroin,and i didnt have to give to anyone account for my expenses,i sunk.
I remember waking up standing between 2 of these friends,who were trying to make me walk(yes i just had an overdose,and it was not the first or the last time).
They treated me like their own son ,(they were older a couple of decades but we went along fine.rock music,and heroin united us.:well heroin mostly ):)
After that year i came back to greece.I already had passed the test of the army,i spent there 2 years before i went off to UK.
And this time was defining for the future as it was at that time that i found myself alone ,without any friends,having to deal with an environment which promoted violence and opression.Not my cup of tea this army thing.anyway ,i was able to find my way into a lifeguard position in a holiday resort the army keeps for the high rank officers.
This way i spent half the time (of the 2 years) on the beach ,in my bathing suit ,looking after the daughters and the wives of the airmen of the greek air force!:):)Yes some are fine!
On to a later day miracle,my return from UK landed me in a placement in the "company"(yes the same one i was going during my school days).
And i managed to stay there for a whole 3 years!!
And i managed not to shoot myself,or anyone else.!!!I had to deal with the old minds of those who dont want change ,if it means they will need to learn new stuff.Do not disturb the status quo was the moto.
Anyway ,as i was an addict ,i couldnt keep on the two face approach.
Even though i had returned from UK with Rachel,a nice english girl i met during my college year there,i was not motivated to try and deal with my addiction.Rather i always found ways to play my games ,without anyone knowing(that was my impression ,but of course i was wrong to believe that people are stupid.Everyone knew.Everyone could see what i was doing.But sometimes you lie to your own self.So i did at the time.For me i was the best there was..:))
Losing Rachel didnt cost me,since i was by that time totally lost in heroin.
And it soon came a time when i openly admitted to my family i had an addiction problem and asked for help.
Fact is i was not keen on stopping.
I was more trying to find ways to manipulate every chance i would be given ,but not to rebuild my life,rather to continue using heroin.
I even had a philoshophical perspective on my actions.I believed i was going to live to be 35 tops,and i convinced myself that i dont need to care about my body,rather dedicate it to my habit.And i was thinking that i d like to sacrifice my hand if i had to in order to continue using(fixing).I was out of veins but still ,every day i d try to find one to shoot,for hours on end.I d spend hours trying to find a vein in my neck,or between my fingers,a small hairlike vein ,that would be used for 1 time ,and then it will die too...But thats OK since my plan was to only live to be 35....
Then ,for years ,nothing changed.
I was in and out of rehab,spent a total of around 10 years inside institutions.
And every time i d come out,i d return (after a long or a short time) to the same habit.to the same life.I didnt know better.I didnt want anything else.Only to score and start searching for the next score.Went on for years.I ended up selling (of course i did!!:))
Last act of heroin life:I ve been living with the help of a friend,Nik.
I would go every day to his house,help him with his computers and try teaching him whatever i knew.
He wanted to get into computers but as he didnt speak english ,everything was hard for him.
Anyway,he was 20 years older than me,an old junkie,he was put in prison for many years,as a result of the actions of another friend,Jim.
But in few words,he was charged with possession and dealing of 20 grams of coke ,that was not his.
The day the police fall on his house,they stayed in the house,and waited for more addicts to come so they can arrest all and make them snitch on Nik,and charge him as a supplier.
Reality is ,he was selling a bit of heroin,only to cover his own habit(and a bit more ).
But the coke was Jims,who,when he walked in the house and during the search by the policemen,he managed to throw the coke into the pocket of a coat hanging on the wall hanger.
Then when the police started searching the place,found it and he didnt take responsibility for it,thinking it would stay unexplained.Police had different plans,they charged Nik with this in addition to a couple of fixes heroin they found and Nik ended up serving 10 years just because they didnt believe the coke was not his.
Jim stayed silent till many years later.

He admitted this to me,just before i left for UK.
I had to tell Nik but at the same time i was afraid of the consequences.In the end i told him and he responded with a "all that is history now".
And that was the end of that.
Back to my story ,Nik was giving me for free for 3 years ,all the heroin i needed.
In return for my help with the PC,he was more than nice to me.
And after these years,one day ,he said to me:Tomorrow if you want to come ,you must bring your passport.
And he gave me money to go get one.
Then he paid for my ticket to UK,put on the plane with 10 g of heroin and send me on my way .
He probably had seen i was going to die soon.
At that time i was staying in a cheap hotel in monastiraki ,selling heroin in Omonoia square,all day locked in a room,preparing packages for my helper(a younger guy ,i dont recall his name,who was the street seller,i was the brains of the operation-and the one with the supplier!!:):))
My prospects looked really bad back then,i was just waiting to die,and while waiting i was shooting like mad.I was using 5g a day and it wasnt enough.
Anyways,next day i go to Nik with the passport.
He drives me to the airport,pays for the ticket and sends me on my way.
I land in UK,having only 1 place to go,maria's room in the university campus.
I had met maria few years back and to my surprise she wanted to be with me.
So i took advantage of this situation and went to stay with her.
The plan was to stay for a week or two .
I didnt know what i m going to do next.
But since i was there i tried to find heroin of course.And of course i found.
I also got signed on the benefit thing ,so i had some money coming in,but mainly i was living off Maria's money in the start.
Then as things progressed,i started contacting my family.
Maria was trusted by them ,and the fact that i was with her ,opened up the door that has been closed for more than 10 years.(We did not speak to each other for many years me and my parents.
They d even change sides when we crossed paths on the street,to avoid me.but this is all past now)
So after a while i was set up nicely in UK,living a nice life and having entered the methadone program there,made me feel secure .
Then time passed doing nothing.
I was all day in front of a computer,i went to the open university ,but i couldnt get interested in anything really.
Maria by that time had left uni and we moved to a rented bedsit,then to another,another,and we ended up in Ramsgate,a place on the south coast of england.
I was walking every day with maria ,in an attempt to lose weight .
And there was a marina in ramsgate.And i d pass the yachts every day ,thinking.
And finally i made the decision.
I was to buy a boat and live on it with Maria.
And we were to travel south.and across maybe.we will see...
So i started learning sailing,reading theory,and started to look for a boat.
It took us 1 year to find the boat that suited our budget .
It was paid with money my father brought himself to the UK.(12000 £)
So we started living on it,moved it from dover to ramsgate and started connecting with the local sailors.
And for me this was a defining moment in my life as it was then i changed.
It was then and there that i started this route that to this day i try to keep on.
After 6 months,and after learning a lot about all things boat,we set sail to france.and then to spain,portugal ,eventually ending up in balearics.
I lived on the boat for 7 years.
And i d still be there today if it wasnt for my break up with maria and the consequences this separation had on my psychological world.Today after 5 years of depression and self pity i m starting again .
not fresh ,as i am too old to be fresh.
But my difficulty lies in the fact that i am 55 and i can not behave like a 55 year old.not even as a 25 year old.I learned how to be honest,straight and this was appreciated in my previous life (on the sea).Since i landed ,i feel as if i m losing all i had slowly,returning to a future i never wanted .
Life has funny ways to bring things around.
I am now living through my nightmares.
For years i was thinking (out loud) that this situation (globally) ,cannot and will not continue.
I was seeing the end of growth.i was warning my family to take measures and protect themselves from the coming crisis.
They didnt pay attention ,or was it too hard for them to change way of thinking and get de-addicted from the land ownership bug.
I was telling them in 2009 to sell everything,and use the money to live whatever years they have left ,enjoy them ,and set up their life in a new place,with better life quality .
They insisted (probably from habit) to stay in Athens (of all places) and they kept the properties .
Today ,they wish they d had listen to me....but it s too late.

Anyway ,it s been few years now (last 2) i ve taken up on line learning.
And since my hesitant beginning,i ve now managed to earn 15 certificates from well known universities,and have managed to study subjects that back in my school years felt as above my IQ :):).
(not really,i always was aware i am smart but lazy.too lazy for my own good sometimes)
Does the new found knowledge place me in a different society?
Does it change reality?
does it make better the world?
not really.I realise the ease that the system instills the need for achievement in young people.
To me it wouldn't be a bate as i ve lived my dream(part of it at least).
What if i hadn't travel had not lived the way i wanted for all my life and now i was able to make choices?would i use my power for good?
to better my life?just?
or of all people?
would i try to discover the new google and make the new billionaire or would try to find ways that would allow to every person on this planet to have the ability to chose what he/she wants to do in life.
Not because this secures your future.not because you ll make lots of dollars.
Just because you can help your fellow man.
and this would lead to a society that all would have equal life chances.
not basic needs.
not just survival.there is enough wealth in our world at this very moment we could easily live for another country without producing new stuff.nothing more than what we need to eat.
The rest we can share,reuse,recycle.there s enough to go around.

All we need to do is fight greed.easier said than done i know....
science ,is not helping towards this target though,as if it s not important,not more than the discovery of a new chemical for plants ,to grow faster...or some drug that makes humans sleep,relax or whatever.....this is where science has been spent for eons.
Maybe time to reconsider the targets?
Economists will tell you no!
They believe our world can be reproduced on a model and they can play around ,fine tune and find what it is that we need to do in order for society to better.
They spent years in universities studying.....and they have this advice for you/for society.(I am not sure how long they've spent on living ,on meeting humans,on learning from other cultures,and above all ,realise the KISS principle.(Keep It Simple Stupid!!)
Will you take their word?will you follow them?it is up to you.
Maybe if we don't ,they d go away?no they will not.they are embedded in our system,it needs them to survive.We don't.

And my argument starts from the point that they are not producing anything,they are only playing around with this thing we call money that seems to be of value for many.
I need money to live,not food,money....right...plant your dollars,you get pounds a year later something..:):)
We dont have any use for science of the kind.,
It is beyond wasting resources .
It has gone into a dangerous zone,as it defines our life. It plans for us before us.without us...:(

So here i am ,knowing a lot more about life ,about travelling,about science,about many other things.
And yet,i do not claim to be a specialist of anything.
Who can claim he/she knows anything at all?
How can you convince yourself that your advice should be followed by the masses?
Who are these people who believe they know shit about life?
what have they done?
what have they lived through?
what is their philosophical stance on life and its meaning?
what about the experiences?how can they drive if they've never seen a car before ?
how can they direct if they dont know what a camera is?
how can they make just laws if they wouldn't recognise truth even if it hits them on the face?
How can we tolerate such situation?
How can people accept whatever these guys say,in the knowledge that these people have never lived anything more than what they've read.
And reading is nice but there s no substitute for the real life experience.
My point is that we must reintroduce to our society the measure.
No One is a star.
This behaviour driven by prototypes, made by people who are driven by arrogance and power hunger.

And with all due respect to scientists(all kinds as long as they are honest and not trying to find unethical ways and means to achieve their "dreams"(which sometimes are not dreamy at all-,and as long as they do not lie in order to get funding(just tell us you want more money ,dont push on people pseudoscience and lies),maybe it is time to talk about universal greed resistance.about how to eliminate this bad virus from our society....but no laboratory makes any tests on that from what i know..

These are thoughts thrown all at once ,without much order ,but i hope they get the right message across.I am not against anything.
It only seems to me funny to say you have advice for people when yourself haven't yet experienced many things that would make you wiser(and probably more useful )
This as a re-awakening of some kind.
But if you so wish i ' d never bother you again..:):)

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